Married with no contract

How are we supposed to commit to a relationship that is uncertain of its own path?
"I am married" we say but when was the wedding?
Call me old fashioned but these situations can be a blessing and a curse
A blessing when you don't have to think about the laws that bind you together
if ever you wanna GET OUT
A curse because you constantly are in limbo as to your real civil status
you have a babies together which by law is considered "bastards"
That alone is therapy waiting to happen for the kids
they say that "the best thing a father can do for their children is LOVE their mother"
I guess not all men contemplate on that statement
I know there are a few out there that appreciate their wives (if they are employed)
I am starting to see the real picture now
the reality of the role of women in the world
We have to be SUPER WOMEN to get some kind of appreciation
you gotta know how to cook for your family
you gotta be clean (the house and yourself hygiene)
you gotta be a whore in the bed and a princess in public
you gotta be your husband's shrink
you gotta be his nurse
you gotta be his cheering squad
you gotta be his fan
you gotta be his mom
you gotta be his friend
you gotta know where everything is (or else heaven help me you'll hear hurtful words)
you gotta take care of his clothes
you gotta know what he likes
you gotta buy him things he appreciates
you gotta be OK with what money he gives you and not SAY ANYTHING about it
you gotta be the woman that is OK with his friends
you gotta be OK with his booze
you gotta be OK with his drugs
you gotta be OK if he fools around once in while (he still goes home to you)
amidst all of that you still have to
budget the finances
make sure the bills are paid
go out and pay the bills
grocery shopping
help with homework
make sure the kids are healthy
make sure the kids are eating right
make sure they kids are learning in school
make sure you keep up with each kids progress
make sure you take care of them
make sure you have a job to help with the finances
make sure you do your share
make sure you take care of the baby
feed, teach, change diapers, put to sleep, bathe.. blah blah blah...
oh this is classic man script:
"I don't cheat and go to bars, I don't go drinking with the boys all the time" you should be grateful!
Fuck that! I remained faithful, I don't have a vice, I always put you first!
If you can't handle that, then leave!
I can do all of that with or without you! And I wont have to put up with your hurtful words!
Its a curse to be bound to all of this bullshit
Its a blessing that you can get out when you can..
Do not stand for abuse,man or woman.. when there is no respect anymore.. there is no love either.. marriage is a commitment , bound by the words and acts of two consenting adults.. whether you have a contract or not.. marriage is only valid if you consummated with the act of announcing this and declaring it amongst loved ones... God will always know your commitment.. the ACT of reassuring loved ones you'll stick it out is a miraculous thing.

/heven7 12282009

Running around in circles

Where am I going? I ask my self
I've decided to win this war, I've decided to win
got tired of running around in circles
getting dizzy with this spin!

Tired of tippy-toeing through landmines
strategically placed
where I am wired to step on 'em
where I am in the midst of waste

I've decided to press on
fight the good fight
determined to leave behind
the feel of pain, pride and spite

I have whats left of my jewels
in my heart and mind
enough to give me strength
that I always lose and find

a good man appreciates a woman who's wise
strong, determined and not to be despised
a woman who means well but unrewarded
yelled at called sometimes stupid , thwarted

how many times should I accept an apology?
In this life time and life history
running around in circles never learning the test
back's broken, breath is shallow, needing rest

You know you're in the presence of royalty
and do not deserve your mediocrity
maybe that's why you try to put me down
unconsciously beating me .. churn and wound

I've decided to win this war
I've decided to claim victory
leaving behind the memories
of my 8 years of misery

/heven7 122809